Wow, who knew that Mummy wellbeing was such a wild card, I am trying to get my head around hash tags on Instagram!! I just posted for the first time about our Mummy Mindfulness classes and used the #mummy wellbeing. Can you hazard a guess how many posts there were? Go on, humour me. There were….. 12 posts!!!! That’s shocking. Considering a regular # I have used for example #mumandbabyfitness is 435(still quite low) or another I like to use #Letsdothis has 4,465,633 posts. But really, 12 posts? Come on!
This proves to me that unfortunately as I had realised that Mummy wellbeing is well and truly at the bottom of the pile and not generally spoken about in our culture. When you have a baby there is a wealth of information on how to breast feed your baby, get them to sleep, massage them so they can fart and what music class you should take them to so they get straight A’s in school.
Where is the information on how to look after ourselves? Our bodies, our minds and the huge change that we have just been through. As Mums our lives are completely turned upside down. Being a Mum is physically and mentally exhausting; it seems that the decisions and the happiness of the whole family fall on our shoulders. Where is the manual or the class that teaches us how to be a Mummy and to keep it all together? We don’t live in communities anymore, our parents are not on our doorstep, which let’s face it could be a good thing but it can feel like a very lonely place especially in those first few weeks.
I remember very vividly the first week of my oldest son’s birth as we were in intensive care and going through probably the most stressful time of my life. I remember every detail of him being in that tiny incubator and me not being able to touch him or give him a cuddle when he cried. It still to this day breaks my heart to think that I wasn’t allowed to feed him and the only comfort I could give him was a dummy.
Once that first week was over and we were released home with a baby that turned out to be the most full of life small person I have ever met. I honestly cannot recall the first three months of my son’s life, it’s like a dark cloud has descended over my memory and seems to have set up shop as almost three years down the line that cloud still lingers on.
Don’t get me wrong I adored being a Mummy and had so much love for this tiny little person that I actually felt like I would burst but oh boy nothing quite prepares you for motherhood.
No one gives you a manual or a rule book. You don’t cram in all the knowledge and hope you can regurgitate it on to a test paper one day. It’s a constant battle of trial and error which wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t for our mind.
I have found that since dealing with a toddler, my mind likes to run away with itself and I’m not just dealing with a toddler. As I discipline him or don’t my mind takes me to my 2 year old as an adult who is an intolerable brat because mummy didn’t discipline him properly or my worst nightmare a criminal!! (I’m sure I will delve in to my policing background at some point).
This is where our minds can be a real bugger as we’re not dealing with the 2 year old baby standing in front of us we’re judging them as if they’re a 32 year old man and punishing them and ourselves based on this crazy thing our mind does to us.
We have over 60,000 thoughts a day and it’s believed that only one in five (or probably less) is a positive thought. Our minds are great at wandering out in to the future and worrying about things that haven’t even happened yet and probably will never happen. Our minds are also magnificent at delving in to our past and dumping our past baggage all over present situations that have nothing to do with our past.
Starting to learn about how our brains work and what influence it has over our thoughts has really helped me to learn that we can’t change our thoughts but we can change how we react to them and the amount of power they have over us. I will attempt to explain in a very simple dummies guide type way next time, as this is the only way my tired Mummy Brain can digest information these days….
Until next time, for further information about me or my company Baby Steps Fitness search https://www.babystepsfitness.co.uk or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org to let me know you’re thoughts or any questions you might have. I always love to hear from fellow Mummy’s.